From Blackouts to Breakthroughs: A Mother's Honest Journey Through Addiction and Recovery
Nicole’s story isn’t clean. It’s not easy. And it’s not over. But it is real—and that’s what makes it powerful.
In a recent episode of Sobriety Uncensored, Nicole, a mother of five, shares her story of early trauma, years of silent suffering, a DUI with her children in the car, and a moment so dark she didn’t want to wake up. But more than that, it’s about recovery—raw, unfiltered, and rooted in growth.
This Blog dives into her journey—not just what happened, but what changed, how it changed, and why her life today is a story of redemption anyone can learn from.
🎧 Listen to Nicole’s full interview on Sobriety Uncensored below:
The First Blackout: When It All Began
Nicole had her first blackout at 12 years old at a family Christmas party. The alcohol was flowing, the adults weren’t paying attention, and no one ever talked about what happened.
That moment wasn’t treated like a red flag. It was swept under the rug—just like so many other incidents that would follow.
“I didn’t like the throwing up part,” Nicole says. “But I loved the way it made me feel.”
From the beginning, alcohol wasn’t about fun. It was about escape. That pattern would repeat itself for decades.
Years of Controlled Chaos
By her 30s, Nicole appeared to have a picture-perfect life—married, five kids, a farmhouse, and a homestead dream.
But behind closed doors, her reality was different:
Drinking whiskey before 5 AM runs
Two bottles of wine every night
Hiding alcohol in coffee cups
Struggling with validation, self-worth, and toxic relationships
“I needed someone else to make me feel good,” she explains. “Whether that was a drink, a person, or a compliment—I couldn't generate that from within.”
This is what high-functioning alcoholism often looks like. You hold down a job. You get the kids to school. But internally, everything is unraveling.
The DUI That Should Have Been a Wake-Up Call
In June 2020, Nicole was arrested for a DUI—with her three children in the car.
She blew a 0.34. The legal limit in most states is 0.08. What followed were felony charges for child endangerment, a misdemeanor DUI, and a sentence that included 21 days with an ankle monitor.
But even that wasn’t enough to make her stop. Why? Because shame, guilt, and secrecy kept feeding the cycle.
She admits, “I thought the ankle monitor would track alcohol. It didn’t. So I drank through all 21 days.”
The Suicide Attempt That Changed Everything
In July 2022, after repeated relapses, job loss, and strained family ties, Nicole hit a new low. Her partner walked out after yet another failed attempt at moderation. Feeling hopeless, she took a bottle of pills and tried not to wake up.
She lived—but just barely.
After a seizure, hospitalization, and a moment of clarity, she finally said yes to the help being offered.
“This is my last shot,” she said. “I was done trying to do it my way.”
Rehab, Sober Living, and Starting from Scratch
Nicole entered treatment at Olympia House in Northern California—a 30-day program nestled on a working farm. This time, she leaned in completely.
After rehab, she made another tough choice: sober living.
“Early recovery is selfish. And it should be,” Nicole explains. “You have to protect it with everything you’ve got.”
Living with six other women in recovery, she started rebuilding her life—one meeting, one chore, one uncomfortable conversation at a time.
She also worked all 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous with a sponsor while working a minimum-wage job across the street.
The Fight for Her Family
One of the most painful consequences of Nicole’s drinking was losing daily custody of her children. For over a year, her ex-husband cared for them full-time. She wasn’t even allowed overnight visits.
She didn’t rush back to court. She didn’t fight with attorneys.
She got sober—and stayed sober.
Eventually, her ex saw the change. What started as weekend visits turned into shared custody again.
“I waited the time. I was patient. I didn’t force it. And that’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”
Life Now: Three Years Sober
Nicole recently celebrated three years of sobriety. She has her license back, her job, and her children under her roof. But the most important thing? She has herself.
Here’s what sobriety looks like for Nicole now:
Two AA meetings per week
Sponsoring other women in recovery
Daily gratitude chats
Listening to sober podcasts during work (like Sobriety Uncensored)
Making time for connection, family, and growth
Nicole’s Message to Others
“If you’re stuck in shame and silence, there’s a way out. You don’t have to figure this out alone. And no, you’re not the worst case anyone’s ever seen. You’re not unique in your pain.”
There are hundreds of pathways to recovery. Whether it’s Alcoholics Anonymous, SMART Recovery, therapy, or sober coaching—you are allowed to ask for help.
Final Thoughts
Nicole’s story reminds us of something crucial: It’s never too late. You’re never too far gone. You are not alone.
Ready for Your Reset from Alcohol?
If this story resonated, don’t wait for another rock bottom. Get help, get honest, and get moving.You don’t have to do it alone. You don’t have to wait until things get worse.
