What Lauren Taught Me About Sobriety, Trauma, and What Really Keeps Us Stuck
In my recent Sobriety Uncensored interview with Lauren, we unpacked what sobriety really looks like when you factor in trauma, family dysfunction, sex and love addiction, and nervous system healing. Here’s what stuck with me the most.
🎧 Watch the full episode by clicking the link below:
Some Stories Stay With You — This Was One of Them
Over the years of hosting Sobriety Uncensored, I’ve had the honor of speaking with some incredibly brave people. But Lauren’s episode? It left me sitting in silence afterward, letting it all sink in.
She didn’t just talk about quitting alcohol—she talked about quitting self-abandonment. And that’s something a lot of people in recovery, including myself, can relate to.
When the Body Says “Enough”
Lauren’s path to sobriety wasn’t linear or textbook. She wasn’t drinking every day. She didn’t lose a job or get arrested. But her body broke down, and that was her wake-up call.
She had been pushing through trauma, chronic stress, overwork, and toxic family dynamics—until her nervous system hit a wall. Her clarity didn’t come from a rock bottom. It came from stillness. From being forced to stop.
That’s when she finally gave up alcohol and weed and began to take her healing seriously.
The Sobriety Spectrum: A More Honest Approach
Lauren describes her recovery journey as part of the sobriety spectrum—and I love that term. It acknowledges that not everyone’s path looks the same. For her, sobriety wasn’t about willpower. It was about alignment.
“It wasn’t that I couldn’t stop drinking—I just didn’t know how to stop abandoning myself.”
She shared how her alcohol use was just a symptom. What she was really struggling with was sex and love addiction, which isn’t something many people openly talk about in recovery spaces. But it’s real—and often intertwined with trauma.
Family Dysfunction, Trauma, and the Marriage Strain We Don’t Talk About Enough
One of the most powerful parts of our conversation was hearing Lauren describe the role family dysfunction played in her relationship and recovery.
Her marriage had been under stress for years. Her in-laws’ unresolved trauma and financial manipulation shaped their entire dynamic. And like so many of us, she kept trying to fix everything—until she couldn’t.
“You can’t build a life with someone who’s building a life for their family.”
That line hit hard. It was a reminder of how much emotional labor so many of us carry—especially when we're still healing.
Nervous System Regulation Changed Her Sobriety
Lauren shared that nervous system regulation became the core of her recovery. Without it, sobriety wasn’t sustainable. This wasn’t just about not drinking—it was about re-learning how to feel safe in her body.
She gave some of the practical tools she uses every day:
| Tool | Why It Helps | When to Use |
|---|---|---|
| Deep breathing | Eases anxiety, centers you | Before conflict or cravings |
| Long walks | Releases stored energy | During emotional overload |
| Yin yoga | Creates stillness, calms nerves | End of the day or high-stress weeks |
| Crying (yes, really) | Releases emotion safely | Anytime emotions feel overwhelming |
What I took from that is simple: You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through recovery. You can slow down and support your system.
It Was Never Just the Drinking
Lauren reminded me (and probably a lot of listeners) that quitting alcohol is just the first step. If we don’t deal with the underlying pain—the trauma, attachment wounds, and nervous system dysregulation—we just swap one form of self-abandonment for another. It shows up in relationships. Work. Food. Over-giving. Even parenting.
On Choosing Not to Have Kids (and Why That’s a Conversation Worth Having)
One moment that really stuck with me was when Lauren talked about her decision not to have children just to try and save her marriage. It’s something we don’t talk about enough, but it matters.
She knew bringing kids into dysfunction wouldn’t fix anything. It would just pass on the same cycles.
That’s the kind of honesty we need more of in recovery spaces—especially among women.
Her Healing Journey Isn’t Over—And That’s the Point
Lauren is still in the middle of her story. She’s navigating divorce, managing grief, and rebuilding her health and identity. But she’s showing up. She’s doing the hard work. And she’s being real about how painful and nonlinear that process is.
You can follow more of her story and what she’s doing on her YouTube page: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCY9hlL43s5KcI00OPahSr3A
What I Took Away
Sobriety isn't just about alcohol. It's about what’s underneath.
Nervous system healing is essential. Regulating your body changes your mindset.
Family dynamics matter. Unhealed trauma doesn’t stay in the past—it shows up everywhere.
There’s no one right way to heal. Whether you're sober, curious, 30 days in, or 3 years out—you’re allowed to take your own path.
Final Word
There are a lot of people out there struggling in silence. But when we speak up—messy, imperfect, and honest—we make it safer for others to do the same.
Lauren reminded me that recovery isn’t just about what we quit. It’s about what we finally start facing.
And that? That’s the real work.
Ready for Your Reset from Alcohol?
If Lauren’s story hit home for you, and you're looking for tools to stay grounded in your own sobriety journey, I invite you to check out my coaching and free resources.
👉Qutting Alcohol? 1:1 Sober Coaching: https://soberstrongcoaching.as.me/
👉More Sober Content: https://www.youtube.com/@Soberstrong
