The Ugly Truth About How Alcohol Hijacks Your Life

Jun 4

Written By Meghan

What’s the price of postponing your healing from Alcohol?

For anyone who’s struggled with addiction, trauma, or the brutal loop of “I’ll fix it tomorrow,” this question hits hard. On this episode of the Sober Strong Podcast, guest Jonathan Metcalf lays bare a story of pain, identity loss, military trauma—and the quiet power of saying enough.

🎧 Listen to the Full Episode 👇🏻

The Wake-Up Call We Don’t Always See Coming

Jonathan’s story starts like many others. A man with a career, a family, and what looked like a normal life from the outside. But inside? Something was unraveling.

“You don’t get a redo. That’s what sobriety taught me.”

There comes a moment in every recovery story where the mirror becomes a battlefield. For Jonathan, it was catching his reflection and not recognizing the man staring back—exhausted, ashamed, and out of breath after just a few stairs.

So he asked himself the question most of us try to avoid:
"When is hurt enough?"

The Lie of "Tomorrow"

Like many of us, Jonathan believed in the gospel of "tomorrow."

Tomorrow, he’d stop drinking.
Tomorrow, he’d show up for his kids.
Tomorrow, he’d become the man he knew he was capable of being.

But tomorrow never comes.

“I don’t get a redo on my kids. I don’t get a redo on their childhood.”

The podcast touches on how powerful and painful it is to miss real moments with your family because alcohol—or any vice—runs the show.

Sobriety and the 75 Hard Catalyst

Enter 75 Hard—not as a fitness challenge, but as a mental toughness training ground.
Jonathan first attempted the program while still drinking. His motivation? Regain control. Build discipline. Prove to himself that he could finish something.

It wasn’t easy.

He failed his first few rounds.
He had to restart—again and again.
But eventually, he hit 105 days of clean sobriety.

“It gave me back the power.”

Sobriety wasn’t just about removing alcohol—it was about reclaiming self-respect. He remembered the younger version of himself. The Marine. The athlete. The fighter. And he wanted that man back.

The Pain Behind the Pour

Jonathan doesn't sugarcoat it—drinking was never just about getting drunk.

It was about:

Escaping grief
Numbing trauma
Avoiding emotions that felt too overwhelming to face

His mother passed away when he was just 18, right in the middle of midterms. Her death flipped his world upside down. Military service gave him purpose but also exposed him to a world of chaos, loss, and emotional suppression.

“Some people say pain gets you sober. I don’t think that’s true. Some people live in pain for years and still can’t put the bottle down.”

The Illusion of Control

One of the most haunting realizations from Jonathan's story is how alcohol creates the illusion of control. You think you're managing it—until you're not. You think you're fine—until your DUI says otherwise.

Even in his most "responsible" drinking moment—handing over the keys, getting in the passenger seat—alcohol still found a way to wreck his night, and almost his future.

But the real gut punch?

“The DUI didn’t make me quit. The mirror did.”

What’s Your Vice?

This episode dives deep into how everyone has a vice. It might not be alcohol. It might be gambling. Or porn. Or scrolling endlessly on your phone.

The question is—what's running your life more than you are?

Jonathan challenges listeners to sit with the discomfort and ask:

Is there something I depend on?
Is there a habit that owns me?
Is my life staying the same because I won’t let go?

“If you try to tell yourself you don’t know what your vice is, you’re full of it.”

Breaking the Culture of Numbness

Growing up in a small town where heavy drinking was normalized, Jonathan saw firsthand the devastation it leaves behind.

Friends lost in drunk driving wrecks
Parents dying from alcohol-induced health issues
Generational cycles repeating with no intervention

It’s not about shame. It’s about honesty.

“There’s a reason your life looks the same. If you don’t change, it will never change.”

Curiosity. Confidence. Change.

Jonathan’s transformation didn’t start with willpower—it started with curiosity. Could he be better? Stronger? Present?

And with every day of 75 Hard, every page read, every glass of water, every outdoor walk—he got closer to that version of himself.

One of the most powerful lines in the podcast is this:

“Confidence creates curiosity. And curiosity creates change.”

It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being brave enough to start.

Rebuilding, One Day at a Time

Sobriety didn’t fix everything overnight. In fact, in the time since quitting, Jonathan has faced:

A career transition
Financial instability in the construction industry
The pressure of reinventing himself at midlife

But instead of hiding behind the bottle, he showed up—for his son’s football team, for his daughters, for his community.

“I’ve never been more involved, more present, more me.”

Choose Your Hard

Let’s be clear: Life is hard.

Being hungover is hard.
Being honest is hard.
Letting go of addiction is hard.
Rebuilding your identity is hard.

Choose your hard.

Because the version of you waiting on the other side of sobriety isn’t just healthier or happier—they’re free.

Start Today—Not Tomorrow

If you take away one message from this episode, it’s this:

“You’re going to have to let it go to get to where you want to be.”

There’s no perfect time. No ideal conditions. No blueprint. But there is today.

Don’t wait until the pain outweighs your pride.
Don’t wait until you’ve lost what matters most.

Start with one choice. One habit. One day.

Final Word

Sobriety isn’t just about quitting something.
It’s about starting something. A new way of living. A new level of presence. A new relationship with yourself.

Whether you’re a veteran, a parent, a business owner, or just someone who’s tired of numbing the pain, remember this:

You were built for more.
You’re not alone.
And you can start right now.